Big Sky Moment

Hey Boy,

I can feel it more than I can see it. It’s a pressing on my chest, a stolen breath, a glimpse from the edges that is your path away from us. I always thought we had more time. More time for trap shooting, more time for choir concerts, more time for lullabies and super jumps.

Those days are behind us now, as is our summer of trap shooting. You missed some clays this season and it made you mad.  It’s ok to be mad Son, it’s even ok to miss. The challenge is how you choose to respond the next time. Whether it’s with clays, or friends, or love and war, you will be challenged in ways that you cannot possibly imagine. The measure of your character will be how willing you are to grow and learn from these challenges.

You’ve experienced so much these past few years, whether it be a pandemic or an insurrection. When I was your age, the most we had to contend with was a white stain on an intern’s blue dress. We are seeing both ends of a spectrum that is divided by mistrust and anger.  Rest assured; cooler heads will someday prevail. We will find the better part of center, and while we may not, and should not get everything we want, we will find common ground to move our community and our country forward.  You can be part of this change, please be part of this change. 

I could never find a particular brand of religion that suited my sense of the supernatural. For me, there was too much judgment and condescension clouding the experience. But those are the trappings of people, and while most of them are well intentioned, their words and actions tend to cut the deepest. This world and the universe that surrounds it is infinite in splendor and that realm between science and spirituality holds so many mysteries. It is not something to fear nor is it something that must be solved. Never temper your curiosity or settle simply for what you’ve been told to follow. Instead, find a path that works for you, and choose wholeheartedly to believe in it.

I know you are incredulous to college grades, but I want you to understand they are the simplest way to measure how far you have come from where you began. We may be Goodenough’s, but I challenge you to be better than good enough in everything that you do. This isn’t a challenge to be better than anyone else, it is a challenge to be better than what you were yesterday. Never settle for mediocrity. This is a lesson my father taught me, and one I hope I taught you. Learn how to jump rope, it might sound silly, but there’s nothing more ridiculous than a grown man that can’t jump rope. When you learn how, please teach me.

I love you Son, every part of you that ever was or ever will be. I cannot be with you on this adventure, nor would you want me to. This is your time, and Big Sky is your place. Graduation may be fresh in your mind, but that memory is no more tangible than the last lullaby or that last super jump when you flew into my arms. I didn’t want to let go then— I sure as hell don’t want to let go now.

But it’s time.

Just know that Mom and I will be here in the woods cheering on your every success and always ready to offer a kind word and a hug should there be a missed clay along the way. 

Love,
The Squiz